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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179011">it suits me, to feel strong</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Hurt Wilbur Soot, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It’s all non-graphic but watch yourself, Other, Phil is going to commit murder, Rape Recovery in ch2 and ch3, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Wilbur Soot Angst, Wilbur Soot is Not Okay, and neither am i, implied child sexual abuse, irl minecraft au, tags will update</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:55:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Wilbur is nine years old when a monster comes into his home.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wilbur Soot &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>142</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it suits me, to feel strong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wilbur is nine years old, and his dad has hired a babysitter for him and Tommy. Her name is Ms. Smith, and the sheer intensity of the fake floral scent wafting off of her is almost dizzying. He decides right then that he doesn’t like her — who needs to use all that much perfume anyway?</p><p>“Wilbur, Tommy, be nice to her, alright?”</p><p>He stomps his foot, glaring petulantly at the floor. “But <em>dad</em>... I wanna come with you an’ Techie!”</p><p>“Sorry, Wil,” Phil says as he ruffles his hair, “But this is something only Techno and I can do. Besides, you don’t want to leave Tommy all alone, do you?”</p><p>He understands. He doesn’t <em>want</em> to, but he gets it. His father is a hero, someone who’s always there to rescue others, save the day, and slay the dragon. It’s his whole job: saving people.</p><p>“I guess not...” Wilbur sighs, kicking the floor. He doesn’t like this, but he also really doesn’t want to leave Tommy alone.</p><p>“Attaboy.” Phil hugs him, pressing a light kiss to his forehead, saying his final goodbyes as he shuts the door. It’s just the three of them, now.</p><p>“So, Wilbur, was it?” Ms. Smith smiles, hand reaching to mess with his hair like Phil had done. She’s not as nice as him though, sharp manicured nails that dig and tug a little bit too hard. He grits his teeth but bears with it. It’s not like she’s coming back, and he promised Phil he’d be good. “What do you like to do?”</p><p>“...I like biomes and, um, playing with the child,” Wilbur says, twisting his fingers together. Ms. Smith nods, glancing towards the living room. Tommy’s hiding behind the curtains right now, but he’s really bad at it, so he’s not surprised that she already knows where he is. “Tommy! You can’t hide from Ms. Smith forever, dummy!”</p><p>The child doesn’t answer, obviously. Wilbur rolls his eyes, intent on pulling him out when Ms. Smith puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, I’m sure Tommy will come out in time. By the way, you can just call me Jenny! Ms. Smith makes me sound old,” she says, a bright smile on her face as she pulls a piece of candy out of her pocket. “I appreciate your help though. Here’s a reward, kiddo.”</p><p>Wilbur blinks at the foil-wrapped piece of chocolate in the palm of his hand. “Oh... um, thank you...” Under her encouraging state, he eats it. It doesn’t really taste like anything, not that he was expecting it too, but the texture’s not awful. It’s smooth, melt in his mouth type, and it’s not terrible.</p><p>“Why don’t we start on dinner while we wait for your brother to come out? In fact, what do you guys want to eat?”</p><p>“Mac and cheese, please.” He pulls her towards the kitchen. “The pots are up there. I’m gonna get the macaroni.”</p><p>The macaroni is on one of the higher shelves of the pantry, but he can get it. Wilbur reaches up, straining as hard as he can on his tippy toes, but the tips of his fingers just barely brush the box. He stretches for it again, but then he pushes the box back.</p><p>
  <em>No—</em>
</p><p>Two cold hands wrap around his waist, boosting him up. “Ah!”</p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” Jenny laughs, “You just looked like you were having a bit of trouble.”</p><p>“Your hands are cold,” Wilbur pouts, but he grabs the box anyway. She spins him around a bit before putting him back down, and it’s kind of fun. She’s more patient and nicer than he thought she would be, letting him help make the cheese sauce. Tommy even crawls in at some point, bouncing and shouting random words to himself as he sits on the chair. Phil says he’s at that age where he’s learning independence; Wilbur thinks he’s just kind of annoying.</p><p>Still, it’s nice. Wilbur’s never had someone’s undivided attention before — Phil’s always busy with Techno and Tommy’s problems — but even with Tommy here, Jenny still listens to him talk about his favorite things, nodding along. She doesn’t even bat an eye when he starts complaining about ant eaters, even agreeing with him. Jenny never takes her eyes off of him, not even when she’s cleaning up Tommy’s mess.</p><p>“Game! Game! Wibby, game!” His little brother tugs at his shirt, all fired up now that he’s ate. Wilbur glances anxiously at Jenny, who smiles at him, warm and encouraging.</p><p>“Um... Miss— er, Jenny,” he stutters out, “Are we allowed outside?”</p><p>“Ah, sorry boys,” she says apologetically, “But your dad said no going out. We can have fun indoors, though! It’s pretty warm, and I know something fun we can do. Have you two ever had a pool party?”</p><p>“But we don’t have a pool?”</p><p>“It’s pretend! We’ll fill up a tub and splash around like it is one.”</p><p>Well, it is warm, and honestly, it does sound pretty fun. Wilbur follows her towards the bathroom, tugging Tommy along with him. She’s quick to fill the tub, instructing them to strip. “Don’t be shy,” she winks, “it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”</p><p>Tommy doesn’t wait for Wilbur to remove his shorts or red shirt — he just jumps straight in. “Tommy!”</p><p>The boy simply sticks his tongue out at him, before going under the water. Wilbur does take off his clothes, meticulously folding them up. He leaves his boxers on, ready to jump in as well—</p><p>“Wilbur, you need to take everything off first,” Jenny says lightly, but there’s a slightly dark undertone to it. Wilbur shifts uncomfortably, glancing at Tommy before speaking.</p><p>“But Tommy’s still in his clothes...”</p><p>“That’s because Tommy’s a bad boy and got all of his clothes wet. You’re a good boy, aren’t you Wilbur? Or was I wrong about you?”</p><p>“No! No... I’ll take them off.” He shivers as he takes them off, uncomfortably aware of her stare on him. He doesn’t want to be a bad boy, doesn’t want Jenny to be disappointed in him, and really, it’s just clothes. Jenny ruffles his hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead like Phil did, before lifting him into the tub and stepping back.</p><p>He’s able to forget her uncomfortable stare with Tommy’s antics, splashing water onto him or trying to eat the bubbles, and they spend hours playing pretend. Eventually, Jenny does tell them it’s time to come out. She helps Wilbur our first, drying him off and massaging enough cream onto his body that he’s sure he could slide around on the floor. (It’s a little weird.)</p><p>“You two spent hours in there,” she says as she buttons up his night shirt. “I was able to cook dinner.”</p><p>“What’d you make?”</p><p>“Mm, you’ll see.” Jenny presses a kiss to the side of his face. “Do you think you could change your brother while I set the table?”</p><p>“Okay!” He gets Tommy ready easily, the three year old letting him do what he wanted. He’s a good little brother when he wants to be, and fortunately, that’s now. Tommy’s stubby little hand wraps around his fingers, following him with bright eyes and even brighter giggles, and he can’t help but crack a smile.</p><p>There’s rabbit stew on the table, and he can feel Tommy perk up next to him at the sight. Rabbit stew is a rare thing, too many ingredients and a small margin for error. It’s a little bit surprising that she’d been able to make it in the time they spent in the tub, but maybe he can learn her secrets. Tommy’s quick to run over to his empty seat, digging in the minute he gets his grubby little hands on the bowl, leaving Wilbur to slide into a seat next to Jenny.</p><p>She smiles at him. “Do you two like rabbit? I wasn’t sure, but...”</p><p>“Yes!” Tommy says in between mouthfuls. Wilbur can’t help but roll his eyes and hiss at Tommy to slow down, the tips of his ears going red as he sees how poised and carefully Jenny is eating. He copies her, tasting his own rabbit stew.</p><p>It’s a little different from the few times Phil has made it, a slightly sweeter taste and a little lighter in color, but he doesn’t mind.</p><p>“It’s alright. Tommy’s a little kid. They do that. You won’t, right Wilbur? You’re so mature.” Of course! He nods enthusiastically, and Jenny ruffles his hair with a bright smile. “You’re practically an adult already!”</p><p>Wilbur preens under her praise, warmth spreading through his body from both it and the soup. It’s such a shame that his eyes are starting to get heavy, and even Tommy seems to be yawning. It’s a little weird. His little brother is usually hyped up after eating. He rests his head on his arms, watching sleepily as Jenny picks up Tommy and takes him back to his room, an even wider smile on her lips.</p><p>“I c’n ‘o,” Wilbur mumbles when she returns, trying to stand up, but she’s already hauling him up into her arms. He blinks, and suddenly he’s in his bed. He blinks, a little more slowly this time, and one of her hands has slipped under his shirt.</p><p>He blinks again, and there are lips pressing against his exposed stomach. No matter what he does, though, he can’t seem to move or speak. It feels like a dream, cotton balls and itchy fleeting touches. A face warped in candlelight. Fuzzyness at the edges of his eyes.  </p><p>It’s not real, that first time.</p><p>It can’t be real, not when Jenny’s nonchalantly cooking pancakes the next morning. She doesn’t say anything, so he doesn’t say anything. Tommy hugs her that next morning, excited and babbling, and that just cements the idea that it can’t be real. He must have made it up.</p><p>And when she babysits a few more times without an incident like that (but she’s always touching, always snapping pictures, always whispering in his ears), Wilbur finds himself reluctantly relaxing in her presence again.</p><p>And then she puts him to bed again, but this time, he’s wide awake. He still can’t do a thing.</p><p>(“Do you want your brother to come play with us?” The dragon asks, and he shakes his head.</p><p>He can’t let her do this to Tommy. Not him. Never him.)</p><p>She leaves him, dirty and gross, and he prays it won’t happen again. He prays that Phil will see him and know immediately what’s happened, and never invite her back back again. He’ll slay her, and hug him, and everything will be alright when he comes home.</p><p>That doesn’t happen. </p><p>Instead, Phil smiles and hugs her when he comes home, thanking her for everything. </p><p>Instead, for the next six years, Phil will continue inviting her in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>wrote this to come to terms with it, I guess.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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